I can’t scream out loud…this and internally will have to do…
My heart still hurts when I think about you.
Honestly, things have been so shitty recently, I just want to die. I want to get a knife and just slash it across my wrists, because then I could just be gone and not have to bother anybody again.
A valued team member.
Led team well and with good humour.
I honestly just want to die. There’s honestly no point in my shitty life. If I was gone, no one would actually care. Everyone’s getting on with life and mine feels at a stand still - again. I don’t know what to do to get myself out of this. I take medication, I go see a counselor, but my mind just doesn’t want to work.
People fucking suck.
I think I need to start being more at peace with myself.
I hate who I am.
I thought I was on the road to recovery, until everyone around me started talking about opportunities and success and then that familiar feeling of sadness rose up from my belly, through my chest and resided as a lump in my throat. I need to catch up, but it feels like I’m constantly dragging my heels.
I just want the ground to open and swallow me up. Everything feels like it’s going out of control. I hate this illness and I hate being a whiny bitch about it.